Deb Cano

May 1, 20206 min read

How To Deal With Fitness Negativity From Others

You've recently decided to make some healthy lifestyle changes.

And due to these changes, you started getting snarky comments from non-other than your closes friends and family members.

"It's ok to skip your workout today.", "Are you really going to work out while on vacation?", "It's the weekend. Just have some fun, don't be so strict with your workouts and food choices."

You already deal with negative comments from your co-workers.

"Oh are you on a diet?", "We brought some cupcakes but as I'm sure you won't have one, I'll eat one for you.", (annoying that they answer for you I know) "Is all you eat are salads now?", "I made a pie, but you don't eat sugar anymore." "Oh, I'm sure you can't eat this, it doesn't fit with your 'diet'", and so on.

What is the best way to deal with these jabs?

For me, it easy for me to say "No" to certain foods. And honestly, my family and friends have come to expect it by now. Especially as fitness is my job, and I've had several conversations on how some foods make me feel and I just honestly don't like that feeling. (More on that later.)

However, the comments do get annoying.

"Oh, you're not allowed to eat this", "This isn't in your plan", "You're clients probably can't eat this", "Oh you're so good." (whatever that means) "So all you eat are salads now?"

And I get it, not having the support you truly need will make things more difficult for you. You feel like you are getting pressure from, co-workers, friends, and family on a regular bases, sometimes even daily.

Whether they may say it playfully or not, it can still hurt and make you feel uncomfortable at times, worse yet you start to question your choices.

Even worse you may start giving in to your old habits. To top it off you justify it by saying, "Well it's only this once", "I completed all my workouts for this week", "I've been so good" (again whatever that even means), "Well I don't want to hurt their feelings, 'Ok I'll take a second slice of pie'", "Oh, I should have heated up my donut, ok let me have another one."

I want you to be prepared when dealing with this.

And most importantly I want you to keep in mind that:

Negative social pressure is one of the greatest barriers to achieving your personal health and fitness goals.

I know this because I've had so many conversations with clients saying things like, "Well you don't understand. When I go back home my mom literally puts a plate full of food in front of me despite me telling her I'm full."

"She made my favorite pie. I can't hurt her feelings."

"All my coworkers know how much I love fries and candy. They also know I'm doing my best to make healthier choices for myself. I don't get it. They are constantly giving me handfuls of candy and buying me fries from McDonald's without me asking. Sometimes this seems like it's too hard. Do they want me to fail on purpose? Why would they? Why are they bringing me my favorite foods, and to top it off for free?"

Let's take a look at these situations...

What are their intentions?

One thing to keep in mind is that your co-workers may not be so enthused with your new healthier choices.

And your mom might feel like she made your favorite food and just wants to see you enjoy it.

Food is more than just food in culture, its information, its medicine, it can literally change our body, physically and mentally, and make you feel 10 X better... A lot of people don't know this, yet! You do, though! You are experiencing it first hand. (A lot of people don't know about calories, macros, and nutrition density!)

Side note: With some generations and with culture, that's how love is shown and moments are shared with friends, family, and love ones. With food, through food.

What is extremely important for you to know is that no matter their reasoning or intentions behind their actions, it has nothing to do with you personally!

Possible Reason # 1: They Might Be Resistant To Change

The person "hating" on you is more than likely resistant to change, any kind of change, and well you are changing. And even though you are experiencing a lack of support from family and friends, they love you, however, they don't want you to change. Because they know you to be one way "towards food and around food", and they like you that way, the way you are or were, not the better, healthier you that you are becoming!

Basically, it's because as you are changing, your food choices, your behavior, and your body are changing. You are becoming this better, healthier, more energized version of yourself.

Keep in mind most people fear the unknown and so as you are changing and improving yourself, they don't know that version of you yet. So either consciously or unconsciously they want to keep you the way they know you.

Now, please know it's not your job to convince them that your still the same or that change is good, and blah, blah, blah.

The one thing I want you to focus on is to please not let them sidetrack you from your goals.

Possible Reason # 2: They Might Be Insecure

Another reason you might be experiencing all this "hate" could be that they are insecure.

So, when you say no to "pizza" for lunch because you brought your own lunch to work. They might wonder why they haven't been able to make any changes of there own. So their insecurity starts to show by making a snarky comment like, "Come on, you're not just going to eat a salad are you? One slice will not kill you!"

And you know that. You know that ONE Slice of Pizza will not kill you, however, you are truly satiated with the lunch you brought, they just seem to not care.

Possible Reason # 3: They Might Be Genuinely Interested

Another possibility that they keep making these comments could be that they are genuinely interested in how you've been able to accomplish a certain health-related goal.

And they honestly might not realize how their questions might sound to you.

They might genuinely want your help!

I know this might be rare, however, if you approach it with this mentality then you might be doing them a favor!

So How Should You Respond And Deal With These Situations?

First: Determine their intentions and motivations. Then respond accordingly.

Educate Them When You Can

If your friend keeps asking you "why".

"Why are you eating that?"

"Why is it that you're not eating this anymore?"

These may honestly be genuine questions because they trust you!

They might genuinely want to learn from you and improve their own health and fitness.

So answer them honestly, educate them as much as you can.

When you feel like maybe you are getting harassed because they think you workout too much even on vacations.

Let them know how a 1 hr workout is only 4% of your day - only 4-5 X per week. And sometimes you only do 30-45 min workouts, depending on what your program calls for. So it's definitely not a lot and most definitely not an obsessive amount.

This is a good time to explain to them how exercise makes you feel. How you legitimately feel better on days you workout compared to days you don't. This might be a good chance to invite them to come with you and show them the ropes.

Put An End To It By Getting Them To Change The Subject

If your coworker is really bullying you about your new food choices. Feel free to answer them back with an as snarky comment as theirs was.

Yes, you have to work with them.

Yes, you see them every day.

This is more of a reason to put an end to this uncomfortableness for yourself. You shouldn't have to go to work and be in an environment that is uncomfortable. You shouldn't try to avoid being seen eating lunch.

So go ahead you have my permission to "jokingly" comment back! HAHA!!! You might leave them confused! And that is perfectly OK... They will definitely think twice before their snarky comment tomorrow!

Please know, that what you choose to eat and how much you choose to eat is none of their business!

So if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, feel free to ask them extremely personal questions in return! And you might just get them to change the topic altogether.

Ignore Them

Another option is to straight-up ignore them!

Yes, this might be awkward maybe even rude. However, it can easily be done if you are truly multitasking. You can easily shift your attention from them to someone or something else.